Most people who know me know that I've been keeping a journal for just about 20 years. My journals inhabit a kind of sacred space in my life - they're my therapy, my outlet, my evidence that I existed, that this life happened.
Now writing is, to some degree, an exercise in self-importance. I've amassed 28 physical journals over the years, and they're fun little reminders of my insecurities, my angst, my cruelty, my overconfidence. I sometimes wonder what will happen to these when I die, who will tend to these volumes of me.
So I thought, fuck it. Perhaps the statue of limitations of embarrassment has run out. Perhaps it would be fun to share the bullshit thoughts of my younger selves.
Starting today, I'm going to be blogging regularly with insights and observations from present-day me and offer, in contrast, insights and observations from child/teenage me. And, spoiler alert, child/teenage me was a little cunt.
I've always been a bit of an over-sharer - when it comes to giving more or less details, I always choose more. But I feel like this is how I like to connect with people - it's my hope that in sharing the most vulnerable parts of me, others will feel comfortable doing the same. And couldn't we all afford to be a little less guarded and a little more vulnerable in our relationships with each other? Wouldn't that be more fun?
January 2001, in which I'm 12 and already an expert at throwing shade.
Next topic, the spelling bee. KC was alternate and it was me, brainiac, and MMM competin. I'll cut to the exciting point. It was between me and brainiac and then I spelled "ABATEMENT" wrong. Can you believe Sarah spelled "irreplaceable" wrong? Geez! How low can you get against a 5 grader who spelled it right!
Next topic is mine n KC's movie date. Me, Andrew, KC, and Bette (who which might I add has been a b**** to us lately) all went to the movies alone...Well you won't believe what happened next. While we were waiting outside Kristel came up wid Jazz her boyfriend (lol). She's all like I knew it you ditched me I'm not gonna talk at school anymore. I was like oh ouch that hurts I don't get the priviledge to talk to a 6 grader anymore.
Well that night I joined Calvin's class for Hip Hop. It was a lot of fun but I'm still so sore to this very moment. Eventually Kristel gave in and said sorry. She's also gonna join Calvins class. If I could barely handle it what makes her think she can do it. She sucks crap!
Well I cut my hair. Am I a babe or what!