On Being 4"11 - A Pet Peeve

(circa 2009)

Despite being 4"11 and about 95 lbs (a size that I achieved by the age of 14 and haven’t surpassed in the last 9 years), I often forget that I am basically a miniature person. I guess it’s because being short hasn’t really handicapped* me any way, aside from my inability to see the tops of shelves or the slight embarrassment I experience when walking through a middle school and not being taller than most of the 6th graders (not to mention the subsequent realization that if I ever have kids, their 12 year old friends will certainly tower over me).

However, there is one fucking thing that always makes me startlingly aware of my lack of stature, and that’s when I’m dancing with some dude in a bar or club or wherever, and homeboy decides that it’d be fun to wrap his arms around my ass, pick me up, and twirl me around. 

Fucking seriously? I hate that shit. It’s like hey man, thanks for having no respect for my boundaries! I am absolutely here to fulfill your petite Asian girl fetish. Please, pick me up even higher next time, you’re making so many of my dreams to see at the 6"2 eye level come true! 

You would be amazed at how many random strangers I’ve encountered who think that this is perfectly acceptable behavior. Who somehow think they’re doing me a favor or turning me on with their ability to lift me up and throw me around like a plaything. Let’s be real, any teenager with even the faintest muscle development could lift me up, it’s not that impressive of a feat. In fact I’m pretty sure I could lift me up, and my arms have about zero muscle content. 

So please, take this entry as a word of caution when dealing with your 4"11 friends: we have feelings too, because we’re not fucking My Size Barbie dolls that you can feel free to pick up whenever the impulse arises. 

*Side Note: In case anyone was wondering, no I’m not a legal midget, nor am I eligible for a handicap parking placard. People ask me that shit all the time when they find out I’m in the 4" height range.