When I first moved to LA from San Francisco in 2014, I went through a yearslong depression spell. I felt untethered, floating through the world in absence of the routines and rituals that I’d built during my 4 years in SF. Things like commuting to and from work every day on the Muni or going to yoga and 20th Century Cafe every Saturday with my sister.
Not only did I feel uprooted, but because I had also started working from home at the same time, there was little impetus to create new routines. There was nothing preventing me from waking up every day at 9am, opening my laptop, and working in bed until 2pm - rinse and repeat. I ended up getting a Fitbit and a puppy, Jojo, to force/guilt myself into getting out of bed sooner. Because if I didn’t let Jojo out, at least cleaning up his shit and piss in the house could be my punishment for not getting my act together.
Over the years, I have learned how much routine and ritual are an important part of feeling grounded in my life, especially as a working adult. When we don’t have the infrastructure of school marking the passing of time - midterms and finals, semesters and quarters - time just slips by, years passing through our fingers like water. Slowly but surely, I’ve created new routines and rituals for my life in LA to help me feel more present to myself. And they evolve, as my life evolves, but I at least now feel better equipped to recognize when I’m feeling stagnant and need to create new routines. These are some of the daily, monthly, and annual rituals I now follow today:
Daily:
Every morning I meditate for 5-15 minutes before getting out of bed. I’ll sometimes pull a daily tarot card too, if I feel like I need to set an intention for the day
After I finish getting ready for the day, I start my work day by opening all of the shades and drapes in my house to let the light in (for our plants and also for my mental health), having green juice and gummy vitamins, and occasionally a green tea and some probiotics
I end my work day pretty religiously between 5:30-6pm - I turn off my work laptop and monitor, close the drapes in my office, and take my dogs on a walk or go to a workout to give myself physical distance from work
Monthly:
I don’t actually do very much intention setting on a monthly basis, which is something I want to change this year, but there are two routines I schedule into my life monthly - my monthly therapy and physical therapy appointments. I consider them my regular mental and physical tuneups, and I’m fortunate to have both covered by my insurance
Annually:
I write my annual New Year’s Survey, which is my favorite and most important reflection and intention setting tool for the year
My fiancé and I have also done a 12-month Year Ahead tarot spread every year for the last 4 years, which has been a fun way to anticipate and set intentions for each month of the coming year (this is what the spread looks like, for any other tarot card readers who might want to try)
I know that routine and ritual are relatively easy for me to implement as someone in a DINK household - Liam and I currently have dogs instead of kids, and I’m very lucky to have Liam as a partner, who will walk our dogs and make us coffee and breakfast in the mornings, since my mornings are usually more packed than his.
But I recently went to a funeral at a Catholic Church, and it reminded me of how rituals are a fundamental part of human existence - whether it’s going through the motions of worship at mass, following the moon phases, or doing the same bathroom night routine our parents taught us, rituals bring structure to what could otherwise feel like the chaotic and random passing of time. They bring familiarity and comfort, and can help create a feeling of agency and control over our lives, because they’re at least one action we can take and know exactly what to expect.
Do you follow any routines or rituals? Leave a comment if so - I’d love to hear what’s worked for you!