jodie koo

Shirley Hornstein: An Honest Apology

lifeofshirls:

For as long as I can remember, I have been lying. From the simple white lies, to the “if-I-say-this-I’ll-get-what-I-want” lies, and the this-could-have-serious-consequences lies, I’ve told them (probably even to you). In fact, I have spent the last 26 years (or, my entire life) lying to, deceiving…

Last year TechCrunch exposed Shirley Hornstein for being a pathological liar who tricked and deceived dozens upon dozens of people in Silicon Valley into thinking that she was a well-connected tech ninja, even going so far as to Photoshop herself into photos with celebrities. Last week, Shirley posted her public apology on her Tumblr, detailing how her rampant insecurities fueled her chronic lying problem and how it all spun out of control so that she was creating new lies to maintain the appearance of old ones (see above). 

Hey Jodie, sound familiar? Because reading her apology just reminded me of how you stole my Facebook status about getting mugged and posted it to your own Facebook just for the glory

Surprise! I haven’t forgotten about you. 

Dear Jodie Koo,

Fun Fact: My sister’s a lawyer. No seriously, she’s a registered lawyer in the state of California and I’d invite you to look her up on the California Bar Association, but honestly, you’re a stalker and it’s weird and I’d rather you not stalk the rest of my family in addition to the stalking that you already do to me. 

I learned some interesting things about Copyright Law in the United States today. 

Copyright, a form of intellectual property law, protects original works of authorship including literary, dramatic, musical, and artistic works, such as poetry, novels, movies, songs, computer software, and architecture (source). “Literary works” include nonfiction prose and poetry (source), or in other words, shit that I write on my blog

I thought I had to register my entire blog in order to have legal grounds to file a copyright infringement lawsuit against you, but because the US signed the Berne Convention in 1989, the use of a copyright notice is no longer required under U.S. law (source), and according to the United States Copyright Office, all of my work “is under copyright protection the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device” (source), so basically, immediately. Which means you’ve already infringed upon my rights as author and sole owner of my copyrighted work. 

But fine, you know, maybe you didn’t realize that my blog was copyright protected. Which is why I’ve added a copyright notice to the description in my blog:

As well as a Creative Commons license that enumerates exactly what rights you have in terms of sharing content from my blog, in the event that you continue to disregard the “ALL Rights Reserved” portion of my copyright notice. 

Here, I’ll even lay out the terms of my Creative Commons license all nice and easy for you: 

So basically, you’re allowed to share my writing (ugh, I guess) if and ONLY if you: 

  1. Attribute the work to me, or in layman’s terms (not sure how smart you are since you clearly exhibit poor decision making on the reg), give credit to me on your blog. 
  2. Stop altering/transforming/building upon/butchering my writing. 

More from the US Copyright Office: “Furthermore, in the event that a work is infringed, if a proper notice of copyright appears on the published copy or copies to which a defendant in a copyright infringement suit had access, then no weight shall be given to such a defendant’s interposi­tion of a defense based on innocent infringement in mitigation of actual or statutory damages” (source). In other words, now that I have given you proper notice of copyright all over my blog, if you continue to steal my writing and I catch you, you’ll have no defense in court to claim that you “didn’t know” my blogs were copyrighted material. 

Jodie. I’m fucking serious. I will literally sue your ass if you continue to copy and paste my writing on your blog without giving me proper credit. You’re a pain in my ass, and I will do whatever it takes to stop you from continuing to plagiarize my personal writing. You’re like a fly that keeps buzzing around my head and gets mad at me whenever I swat at it, yet continues to fucking buzz around my goddamn head. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this - Stop. Stealing. My Fucking. Writing. 

I mean shit dude, this wouldn’t even be a problem if you just credited me on your posts where you’re clearly appropriating my writing. It’s really that simple, just stop being a crazy person and give credit where credit’s due. 

thought receptacle: when you are

jodiekoo:

In a committed relationship, it’s easy to lose yourself in it; it’s easy to let it define you. It happens all the time with couples, doesn’t it? Two people begin dating. Before you know it, “he” and “she” become a merged “they”, “we”, “us”, converging into one single entity. A collective identity.

My entire life, I’ve valued my independence. Individuality. Self-sufficiency. Self. Me. My identity has never been derived from my relationships with other people. Naturally, this applies to all different kinds of relationships — friendships as well — but specifically, I have encountered so many weak women whose happiness and very breath of life are so wholly dependent on, and defined by, their men. I do not let myself rely on others in that way. Of course, this does not mean I am incapable of feeling. When I love, it is obvious. I love so obviously. My relationship means everything to me, but I am proud of my ability to exist outside it. I guard it. I can (and need to) function independently outside of “us”.

The reality of being in a long-term long-distance relationship, however, means that I’ve had to live with this loneliness that haunts me for days and weeks at a time. Despite my efforts to secure my independence, this emptiness — this lack of a human physical connection — carves out an aching space that I am still learning how to cope with.


Jesus, Jodie, you suck. This entry is basically a combination of this one that I wrote back in February and this one that I wrote in April. You may not have stolen the entries word for word this time, but did you really think I wouldn’t notice you taking apart my writing and piecing it back together? 

I’m not going to ask you to take it down, because I get that you’re also in a long-distance relationship and, like, have your own feelings and shit that you added on top of the ones I’ve already expressed in words. So whatever. I just hope you know that I’m never going to stop checking your blog and that I continue to think it’s weird that you’re just, you know, stalking me and saving my writing in some folder on your computer so that you can repost it months later, all the while crossing your fingers and hoping that I won’t notice. 

thought receptacle: a word of warning

jodiekoo:

If you want to shit on me — fine, whatever, I can take it. But when you decide to involve the people and things I care about, that is crossing the line. You went waaay too far, you had no right. The way you lashed out was completely inappropriate and unnecessary considering the situation. See, I am writing this out of anger. That’s the thing, though — I am writing this out of anger. I am not acting out of anger. I try to think before I act. Which you clearly do not do. I guess you thought you were inflicting maximum damage on me but NEWS FLASH: I AM FINE, I HAVE NEVER BEEN BETTER, and really all you succeeded in doing is piss. me. off. Do not piss me off. Do not fuck with what I love. I really don’t think you know who I am. You do not understand what you are dealing with, you really have no idea. Which is cute. But sweetie I recommend that you do some more research before making your next move (because clearly you are not as intelligent or media-savvy as your credentials would suggest). I have everything. You have nothing. I am untouched. You cannot touch me.


I lol’d. You realize you pretended to get mugged, right? That’s weird.