I always enjoy doing this survey, but this year is especially significant because it’s my 20TH FUCKING YEAR. Mind-blowing! It’s my longest-running ritual and it’s just really cool to have such a consistent log of who I am and who I’ve been, centered around my favorite holiday. Seriously, so cool, at least to me it is, and as I get older I become more and more certain that my opinion is the one that matters most when it comes to how I spend my time and how I live my life. The joy of aging.
2023 was another big year full of big changes and big moves, and honestly, it was a lot. I’d love a smaller year, a quiet year, a boring year, but I’m not sure it’s in my nature. We spent the last week in Mexico on vacation and I was so bored by the end of it, I became irritable and edgy. I wanted to get back to my routines, my hobbies, my work, my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love to rest, but only for so long. And then I need to do. I need to do a lot.
So yeah, that’s the energy I’m starting this survey with. Let’s do it.
Past years for reference:
2022
2021
2020
2019
2018
2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?
Went to Baru and Cartagena in Colombia for our honeymoon. Also went paragliding and white water tubing and experienced a real ghost encounter while we were there!
Sold a house
Went to a music festival solo and had THE BEST TIME. LIFE-CHANGING.
Went to Sicily, Zion, and Folly Beach and Charleston in South Carolina
Did a headstand while stand-up paddleboarding
Did nutrition counseling and reached the point of being able to “whip something up” using ingredients we had on hand - A HUGE LIFE MILESTONE
Cooked in an instant pot and hardboiled eggs
Had a 1:1 with a CEO and took over leadership of a whole ass agency
Was featured in a magazine and attended an A-List celeb birthday party
Made shapes with my legs while in a handstand
Flew first class
Joined a writing circle
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2023 goals:
Replenish my Savings and save ideally $50k. Liam and I crushed the shit out of this and saved more than double, which, like, what? I always thought I’d grow up to be a starving writer, pinching pennies and living an artist life, so my financial solvency never ceases to shock me. We’re trying to buy a new house in SoCal this year though so we had to save aggressively.
Publish my daily intentions. Definitely did not do this BUT I did take a few writing classes last year and started sharing more of my writing! So still counting it as a win, even though it took a different shape than what I expected (such is life).
Cook at least 1x/week and get out of the pre-diabetic zone. Did! The cooking 1x/week (often more!), though I haven’t gotten my bloodwork redone to check my prediabetes status. Something to follow up on this year.
Set up new recurring donations. Didn’t do this, though we plan to revisit this year. We spent most of last year figuring out how much we could feasibly save per month to get really aggressive with our saving goals (again, see: buying a new house) so new donations fell to the wayside.
My 2024 goals:
Buy a new house in Altadena. Selling our house and moving out of LA was the hardest fucking part of 2023 for me, but I always knew the silver lining was that we’d eventually move back to Altadena, an area that checks both Liam’s and my boxes and needs.
Freeze my eggs. This has also been an intense year of baby conversations - whether or not we’re going to have one (or two) and when we’ll start trying. Jury’s still out on the latter, and I’m in my mid-30s, so time to freeze as many quality eggs as I can.
Perform. I don’t know what this will look like, but I haven’t performed in so fucking long, I miss it. Liam’s never even seen me perform! Whether hip-hop, heels, or pole, I really want to perform on stage in front of an audience at least once this year.
Try something new. I also don’t exactly know what this will look like, but I read the Artist Way last year and it really inspired me to continue fostering my creativity and curiosity in new ways. I have a note on my computer with things I’m interested in - trying a burlesque class, getting into contortion, rollerskating, etc. Maybe I’ll do one of those, maybe I’ll try a new writing class, or maybe some other form of professional development. Just something new.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Bee and Oliver, Anna and Adam, Melissa and Andrew. It’s definitely contributed to baby-making on the brain.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5. What countries did you visit?
Colombia, Italy, Mexico
6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?
A forever home.
7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 3, the A-list celebrity birthday party we went to. I can’t really share more than that right now, and it was less glamorous and WILD than you might be imagining, but still a trip for a total outsider like me.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
A few come to mind: first, dealing with my depression in a healthy way and building a new life as a result of it. Taking up writing classes, FINALLY, and building the courage to put myself out there. And finally, getting the opportunity to lead a whole ass agency. It’s the biggest move of my career and I’m still so honored to have been considered for the role.
9. What was your biggest failure?
There were several times this year when I noticed I was spending more time on my phone and on social media than I wanted to, often unconsciously. I recently set up Opal though and it’s done a lot to deter my addiction. Highly recommend to anyone else who wants to spend less time on their phone.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I’ve struggled with eye twitching on and off for most of this year, ever since we moved. I’ve also had tinnitus since the end of April and it will just not fucking go away, which is also maddening. I’m hoping both will resolve themselves in the next year as we find more stability in our lives, but also, who knows. I’m also getting arthritis in my thumb. This body isn’t what it used to be.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought two harnesses from Ardeo as treats for myself and they’re SICK. I love that I’ve slowly trained my work to accept the leather, chains, spikes, and studs I wear. My sister Katie’s also gotten me into designer consignment shopping, and I’ve gotten some really cool pieces as a result, like a $200 YSL knit sweater that originally retailed for $1000. Fun!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Anyone who understood what they could or could not control and acted accordingly.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The Israeli government.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To savings! And self-care. It was a big year of self-care.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My self-care week in November! I planned a whole week of treats for myself - a one-night stay at a bougie hotel in Malibu, a facial, a hair color appt, a spa day, concerts. It was the best and I’m going to do it every year now. Normalize self-care vacations.
16. What song will always remind you of 2023?
Fred Again and The Blaze’s entire catalogs. Basically.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Sadder, but it’s hard to top post-wedding happiness.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Maybe about the same? Maybe marginally fatter, I was pretty fit before the wedding.
iii. richer or poorer?
Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d poled more, it’s just harder to schedule and plan around since living in the Bay. Also, probably cardio but I was pretty good towards the end of the year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Scrolling on my phone. Also, eating excessive pastries and sugary coffees.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with my family. Liam and I agreed to spend the holidays with our respective families while we don’t have kids, and honestly, I’m grateful for all the time I can get with my parents and family as we all get older.
22. Did you fall in love in 2023?
Stayed in love, and experienced “I love you but don’t like you right now” territory. Like any long-term relationship during a hard moment.
23. How many one-night stands?
I guess this answer will just forever be no now.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
LOVED Physical 100, Beef, Never Have I Ever, Arnold, and the third season of Only Murders in the Building.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Who has time to hate anyone when you’re in your 30s? Life’s too short to waste your attention like that.
26. What was the best book you read?
I read 20 books this year! Which is huge, I haven’t read this much since probably high school. My favs: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (I’ve since read most of her books and can honestly say this one is by far and away the best), Circe and The Song of Achilles, both by Madeline Miller (STUNNING reads), Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris (one of his best), Money Out Loud by Berna Anat (so useful!!!), and The Artist Way by Julia Cameron, which was a little too much for me at times, but I enjoyed all of the creative exercises.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Blaze and Fred Again.
28. What did you want and get?
My harnesses. A very self-indulgent self-care week.
29. What did you want and not get?
I’m very privileged to have everything I could ever want and then some.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
LOVED Joy Ride, John Wick 4, and Past Lives. Also enjoyed Barbie.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was so burnt out around the time of my birthday, I’d originally wanted to do a friend hang and then canceled at the last minute. Instead kept it low-key, practiced some yoga/handstands at home and went to dinner at Fort Baker with Liam. I turned 35.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having this constant fucking ringing in my ears.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?
Still 95% black, but I’ve evolved a little this year! Wearing more skirts and dresses and oversized t-shirts, along with more leather harnesses and chains and spikes. Every year I feel like I become a slightly more adult version of my witchy, gothy, borderline rock-n-roll, slutty self.
34. What kept you sane?
My million wellness practices that I cycle in and out of - meditation, morning pages, journaling, exercise, savoring, acts of kindness, etc. But even with everything I know to take care of myself, I still experienced depression, burnout, and lack of motivation. I’ve just gotten better at accepting everything is cyclical and impermanent.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you want the most?
I fell down a Jamie Campbell Bower hole a couple times this year. He’s so talented and charming!
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Israel/Palestine war.
37. Who did you miss?
No one. I feel like I see or keep in touch with everyone I’m close to and have come to accept that some friendships fizzle, run their course, or come back around in the future when it makes sense.
38. Who are cool new people you met?
People at work, people in my yoga classes, people in my writing classes, etc. But no one “close” per se.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023?
You can always start again, you can always try something new, you can always return to a past hobby or a past interest. I’ve spent much of this year reclaiming and reigniting my creativity, heavily influenced by The Artist Way, and it’s been really rewarding reminding myself that you don’t always have to feel like you’re going forward, sometimes going backward is also part of life.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I see the past of the time passing fast
The present's over and gone
So know I'm ready, I trust my soul
I'm hoping to fly with style, we shall know
The Blaze - Heaven